guys never realize that.
Why play games though? Just come out and say no, don’t seem to hard.
cause the word “no” is not in ya’ll vocabulary.
Who is this ya’ll you speak of?
Honestly flat out saying no can be really scary. A lot of guys will be cool and leave you alone, but there are enough that won’t that I don’t always feel comfortable saying no. You don’t always know how a guy will react. I’ve had enough bad experiences that I always have an excuse or friend because I’m not willing to take that chance. Sometimes “playing games” is keeping myself safe.
That’s absolutely terrible, I know from personal experience I like women to be straight up with me. At the same time I know guys who are so childish and petty.
Childish guys are the easier ones. I’d rather deal with a childish guy that talks shit than a guy that gets violent. Either sucks but its the lesser of two evils
Dudes out here are legit KILLING AND MAIMING WOMEN FOR SAYING NO OUTRIGHT and you wondering why we have to ‘play these games?’
I have been verbally harassed and FOLLOWED FOR SIX CITY BLOCKS for not giving a man my number. I thank GOD I wasn’t killed that day.
Sometimes “no” just isn’t worth the hassle, I’ve been followed, threatened, screamed at, I had a guy on the street pull out a screwdriver once and threaten to stab me in the throat for saying no thank you when he asked me to go clubbing with him. Sometimes it’s easier - and safer - just to play the game. If I’m put in a situation where I have to physically defend myself I KNOW given the way the system works that *I* will be the one who goes to prison or gets a permanent record for trying to stop someone attacking me.
I hate that we have to defend the reality of this to men who’ve had years to listen, to hollaback, the aps made for women walking alone, who could just open their eyes in public if they really wanted to see.
Seriously they have only to open their eyes on any sidewalk or subway car to realise men are terrifying! I’ve been followed and yelled at by men while passersby just averted their eyes. If men don’t know at this point, it’s because they don’t WANT to know.
I had a guy trying to buy me a drink in a pub a few weeks ago.. and he kept going and going and going, and I kept trying to be polite, and kind and funny to dodge it - I explained that I was with friends, that I wasn’t thirsty, that I was ok buying my own drinks, that I was queer, that I wasn’t interested, thank you, but no.. I LITERALLY said “thank you, but no.” So it isn’t that he wasn’t “getting” what I was saying, it’s that he wasn’t listening.
After the third time I put up with him at me (for about 10 minutes each time), I actually stated straight up “You aren’t listening to me. I’m saying ‘NO’ to you.”
He answered with “yeah, but I’m telling you ‘yes’.”
So, explain to me again how we should just say ‘no’ to guys?
(Source: jay-escobar, via theroguefeminist)
For every note this gets I’ll go a day without self harming in any way, shape, or form.
Fuck you for perpetuating the idea that self harming is something that you can just turn off like that.
This is really important to me. I just got out of an abusive relationship and I hope that no one ever has to feel like I did.
(Source: dizhang, via hairlikethat)
She is fighting invisible agents.
I’m really disappointed that this is so over sexualized because pole dancing is really cool
It should be a fucking olympic sport like with unitards and shit
okay, so first of all: this example is not “over sexualised” - this is someone who very possibly has never done a day’s worth of stripping in her life performing some moves in a dance studio. She’s very likely to have had a lifetime of dance and gymnastics training behind her and decided to take poledancing classes when it became the new hit craze. She’s learned in a formal class environment.
But poledancing was developed by strippers in a stripclub environment. Many of those strippers also had a lot of dance and gymnastics and cheerleader training behind them and they developed pole moves partly as a way to kill time when the club was quiet. They taught each other in an informal setting and innovated and created for themselves. Without getting paid explicitly to do so.
Their talent at being able to do things like this has never been recognised. Even though the first pole schools were opened by strippers and taught by strippers, it has now been appropriated by hundreds of people who have never done sex work and who have no respect for sex work, who think it is “sad” that poledancing has a history inextricably entwined with sex work, who only view poledancing as a legitimate artform once it becomes detached from its sex work context despite the fact it was conceived and built in a sex work environment by sex workers.
Poledancing is not “overly sexualised”. It IS a sexualised dance/athletic art and rightly so - it belongs to strippers and it is strippers who made it. Its beauty and athleticism and skill doesn’t change because it was used in a sexualised environment to help its practioners make more money (although now it is seen as just for middle-upper class non-sex workers to pay big bucks in a formal class environment to learn to titillate boyfriends and husbands whilst staying appropriately fit!). That’s a part of its history. Sexualised things are not inherently worth less because of their sexual nature. To believe so is just to devalue the hard work of the sex workers who innovated it and that is done more than enough as is.
Poledancing is still cool and amazing and requires great skill and talent to execute even MORE SO when it is sexualised. Just being able to perform it impressively is one thing; being able to make it a fluid part of a character performance (which is what stripping entails) is another. If you can’t appreciate that, you don’t understand it, so STFU.